My opinion will be trivial
I could say that for a fair while I have been chasing peace and serenity, an apreciation of small things and the ability to slow down. However the only time I ever do feel like that is when i fail to acknowledge what sort of state I am in.
But that is a lie because right now i would say i feel peaceful, i am typing considerably slower than i normally would. I am tired from a day at work, that feels weird to write, ive had an after school job for over 6 months, around the same time i started blogging, and still it feels weird to call it work.
Yesterday I wanted to go for a bike ride, my town has a local cycling club that goes out to a nearby town on the river and back every saturday at 7, ive wanted to go for about a month or so. Yeterday I woke up at 6:30. Technically i could have gone, i could have had a quick shower, quickly got dressed and sat on my bike down the hill to where they are meant to meet up. And i would like to say i didnt feel like it, i didnt, why?
God who knows, i was at work the entire afternoon the previous day, perhaps i was tired? But i think its more that i didnt feel slow enough to enjoy it, cycling is a thing that if i am tired or stressed then every fly in my face will piss me off so much it will make me angry, if i start of calm then i can appreciate the flys for feeding the spiders that feed the birds, and birds are beautiful.
I don't feel bad about not going, i dont regret it, I had a day to relax before another day of work today. Im not used to working so much in a single week.
Racoon wrote about his veiw on new years resolutions recently. He says that all of his new years resolutions when he used to do them were:
were vague, easy to abandon, and never required real commitment.
and that
In my eyes, New Year’s resolutions are nothing more than a coping mechanism, a psychological crutch. They’re just another way of saying “I’ll start tomorrow, not today.”
So, Ill go for a bike ride with the cycling club next week, wait no im working that day. the week after...
I can't tell myself in 2 weeks what to do, he wont listen, my opinion will be trivial. And is there any need for him to think otherwise? It's not like i dont ride my bike and im not active.